Can DISC explain why some couples, like my wife Leah and me, have stayed married for 36 years? Or why other couples “throw in the towel” long before “death do us part?”

I didn’t pick my wife based on her DISC profile — in fact, I didn’t know beans about DISC when I first met her. I just really liked being around her. However having learned to read DISC styles has helped us stay together.

Our marriage has had its ups and downs. There were many times over the past 36 years that I was ready to call it quits and so was she.

DISC is a personality style system. It’s a tool that’s been around for nearly 90 years and has gone through constant refinements. In DISC we measure four aspects of the human personality. We then look at the relationship of those aspects and  establish both a Natural more permanent style and an Adapted situational style.

In order for DISC styles to be helpful in making a marriage work, the interface of the two partners styles needs to be managed by them. This is easier for some styles to do than others — regardless it can be learned. For a marriage to work, often the responses need to be “Oh, its their personality style that is causing them to…”

I think one partner will tend to compromise more than the other. Certain styles are more happy to bend.

In a society that values Drive and Achievement, there may be a tendency to partner for maximum achievement. In my opinion, this tends to partner two high Drives. Unless Drivers are very self-aware, this is often a prescription for disaster.

The four aspects of DISC are Drive, Influence, Steadiness and Compliance.

DRIVE: That voice inside my head saying “I’ve got to make it”, “I can do it”, “I’m the one who can make this happen”, “It’s all about me”. Drive is about putting my ego on the line, if I fail I am hard on myself. The Drive voice inside my head talks tough to myself.

Under pressure Drivers tend to push people, rather than lead and they become impatient.

INFLUENCE: My ability to communicate with others in a way they like to be communicated with. Influence is about my flexible communication style. Influence is my ability to measure the effect of my communication on others — on the fly — and my ability to adjust to get my message through.

Under pressure Influencers become all heart over head and rely too heavily on verbal ability.

STEADINESS: My desire to stay for extended periods of time on one physical location. Steadiness is the desire for less movement and more stability. It is my desire for routines.

Steadies under stress resist change and internalize feelings when they should be discussing them.

COMPLIANCE: My belief in the value and importance of rules. My comfort in following the rules.

When feeling pressure Compliants experience analysis paralysis and avoid controversy.

As we  explore the different traits that are considered essential in defining what makes a good salesman, let’s consider the stigma that is sometimes attached to the profession. Unfortunately, there’s a stereotype out there that many people associate with anyone in sales. Good salesmen have been the butt of jokes for decades, perhaps even centuries. In popular culture, they have been portrayed as shameless hucksters since the days of door to door snake oil salesmen. Even a Broadway musical, The Music Man, portrays the main character as a shyster.

Because of these unflattering caricatures, there tends to be a negative perception of salesmen. It’s no wonder that they have to work so hard just to overcome reluctant customers and make an honest living!

When we talk about sales resistance in customers, cost is often the factor that first comes to mind. But there’s another, very important, factor—trust. That’s why integrity is a fundamental ingredient in what makes a good salesman.

Integrity, honor, uprightness, reliability, sincerity, honesty—there are plenty of words that basically mean, “You can trust me—I will never steer you wrong.” It’s a crucial factor in building relationships with customers and establishing a rapport where all parties are comfortable going through the process together.

Once a salesman closes a deal with a customer, the customer should have a good feeling, not a bad taste in his mouth. It’s the salesman’s job to make sure that this good feeling happens; after all, the customer’s not only buying a product or service, he’s buying what the salesman is telling him. No company wants their salesmen selling lies.

If we were to ask sales managers where the salesmen’s focus should be, they would most likely tell us that salesmen should be sales-focused. While this is true, the sale is only the last step of the formula. The first step is gaining the customers’ trust by focusing on their needs and concerns, then maintaining that trust throughout the process. When the focus is on the customer, it naturally follows that the sale will be accomplished, which will advance the success of the company.

So customer-focus equals sales-focus, which equals company focus. When you make integrity a part of the formula for what makes a good salesman, you can be assured you’re hiring someone whose priority will always be to do the right thing for the customers and the company. This type of selling is a win-win-win situation, and it builds respect from customers, colleagues, and managers, creating a foundation for selling success over the long term.

Ultimately, making integrity a primary element in your formula of what makes a good salesman boils down to a simple but important concept: protecting your company’s reputation. If you don’t follow a proven sales hiring system such as the one provided by AHS, you may end up hiring salespeople who will do anything to make a sale. As a result, you’ll end up with more than your average number of dissatisfied customers. This will lead to customer service problems, damaging feedback, and negative word-of-mouth. We all know how that can affect a company!